“How you’ve been GRINCHED”. Part 10. Fail Forward.

Dear reader, this article is the final chapter in my series of 10 articles titled: “How you’ve been GRINCHED and you didn’t even know it”. You can read the previous articles here: Read “Grinched” Part 1, Read “Grinched” Part 2, Read “Grinched” Part 3, Read “Grinched” Part 4, Read “Grinched” Part 5, Read “Grinched” Part 6, Read “Grinched” Part 7, Read “Grinched” Part 8, Read “Grinched” Part 9.

Over the first five chapters we looked at how we’ve all been grinched in some and/or many ways. We looked at the GRINCH personality as someone who is a combination of grumpy, resentful, irritated, numb, cynical and heartless. In our daily lives we all without exception experience at least one of the above qualities periodically [some of us frequently and others even regularly]. It happens automatically, subconsciously as if we are running on AUTOPILOT. And that’s the greatest danger: running our lives on autopilot. We do not see this happening, we are blind to our own behaviors, we easily [and often eagerly] notice things in others, yet fail to recognize the same things in ourselves. We walk around in different shapes and forms of the Grinch, yet think and act as if we are all good. We get so focused on the immediate tasks, errands, jobs, activities that we lose sight of the bigger picture. We forget why we do what we do. We don’t realize that all of that “busyness” is actually a distraction, a smokescreen, a gateway from dealing with reality of our lives. We chose to be busy over being present.

WHY? Why would we do that? Because being present requires DEALING WITH THINGS THAT MAKE US UNCOMFORTABLE TO EVEN THINK ABOUT. Dealing with being unhappy and stuck at your job, career or business. Dealing with early, late and long hours of our daily commutes. Dealing with traffic every day. Dealing with being unhappy in your marriage or relationship. Dealing with giving up on your dreams. Dealing with being a chronic procrastinator. Dealing with being dissatisfied with your body image and having low self esteem. Dealing with being lazy and lacking willpower to exercise. Dealing with binge watching TV [or social media, i.e. your phone] when you could be working on that paper, exam, book, project, painting, song, article, deal, sale, prospect, networking, research, travel, exercise, cooking, socializing, etc. Dealing with being overworked and underpaid yet not saying anything about it to your boss. Dealing with being stressed out and borderline depressed. Dealing with being a hamster on the wheel, day in and day out. I can go on and on with this. I think you get the picture…It’s uncomfortable to even think about all that. And we all can relate to this. I know I’ve been there. Unhappy, stuck, stressed, overworked, burned out, angry, lazy, dissatisfied with where I was in life. And I own the fact that I have been grinched!!!

WE ALL HAVE BEEN GRINCHED! If not in the way I described it, you can think of your own ways. You are smart enough [likely smarter than me] if you’re reading this. Just stop hiding and running away from it. Admit it and own it! And the sooner you realize it, the sooner you’ll get off that hamster wheel and get on the path to being UNgrinched. That path will guarantee you more happiness, joy, fulfillment, confidence, higher self esteem, resilience, higher levels of energy and power, piece of mind, leadership, and success.

In chapters 6 through 9 we looked at the new Grinch as someone who is a combination of grateful, respectful, inspired, noble, compassionate and humble. It’s a powerful combination of personal traits that will lead you to greatness. It [the combination of those traits] will unlock your true potential, get you unstuck, and prompt you to take actions daily to go after your dreams. It will help you appreciate what you have more, take total ownership of your actions [instead of making excuses, considerations and reasons WHY NOT] and understand that we don’t have to be perfect [and never will be]. It will help you embrace your body, look, color, personality, faith, business, profession, career, life choices. It will win you more friends and help resolve existing and future conflicts. It’s potential is limitless because you have an unlimited potential, of which you have been taught to use only about 10% to 15%. I think you get the idea of how big this can get for you. All you have to do is to take over the steering wheel of your life and get off that autopilot. Tell yourself: “I’ve had enough of this! I am in charge and I am going to WIN!”

Exercise the qualities of the new grinch daily. Some days you’ll do great, some you’ll do poorly, and some you’ll flat out fail. That’s right, FAIL. Great, spectacular, phenomenal! You may think I’m crazy. Nobody wants to fail, you may say. It’s uncomfortable, shameful, disappointing, humiliating, demoralizing. I don’t disagree. Failing is tough. I fail every single day just like you and everyone else. The difference is that I am in love with it now. I’m in love with the grind and the process. I am not attached to the result anymore. And I’ll explain why here. Remember that when you fail, you only fail to deliver a particular result, promise or performance. It doesn’t mean that you are a failure. If you take away anything from this series of articles, this is the most important part! I’ll repeat: you failed to deliver a particular result, promise or performance. It does NOT mean that you are a failure. This is fundamental because if you tell yourself or even think that you are a failure [instead of failing to deliver or perform], it’s a toxic statement, a permanent command, and a mindset that will be hard to alter [since you are the one who makes it and believes it]. You are NOTa failure because something went wrong, you missed your own or somebody else’s expectations. As a matter of a fact it’s already done, it’s gone, it’s in the past. So why dwell on it, blame yourself, diminish your value, confidence and esteem? Why project the temporary failure into your present and future? You already know how that goes. That’s how we get grinched. So let’s do this instead. Learn how to FAIL FORWARD. Yes fail forward instead of failing backwards [which we all are accustomed to and used to]. Fail forward means you look into why you failed, learn from your mistakes and go back into action, now much wiser, experienced and stronger. This is our natural design anyways. I did not make this up. Want proof? Here you go. Your body works this way. You break down your muscles and tissue through exercise and what happens later? Miraculously your body rebuilds itself and grows stronger and more powerful. Here’s another example. Every field of science works the same way. All of the breakthroughs of science are achieved through countless experiments that fail. With each failure, we learn something new, we tweak the process and go back to the lab to try again. And then we fail again, and again, and again, and again. Until on the 1000th attempt we get it right. That’s right, we FAILED FORWARD to success and progress. We eventually got it right because we learned something new with each failure, we got wiser with each failure, we got stronger with each failure, we got more experienced with each failure. So there you have it. Fail forward and enjoy the process, be present and don’t dwell on the past. Embrace the journey that you’re on, don’t be afraid to change your path, make adjustments and tweaks regularly, and utilize the qualities of the new Grinch to fail forward to your own success, your own top, you own victory, your own glory!

The choice is yours. I hope that I’ve prompted you to think about these issues from a different perspective. Remember, I’m not trying to convince you about anything here. I came up with the Grinch concept based on the collective experiences of all of the people in my life [multiple nationalities, language groups, ethnicities, ages, religions, belief systems, education systems, traditions, cultures and walks of life]. I’m here to share my journey with you and inspire you to reach for the sky, to pursue your dreams, to live powerfully, experience joy and fulfillment, share it with people in your lives and empower others to do the same. To conclude, I’d like to leave you with a closing remark coined by one of the dearest people in my live, reverend Ron Burgess: “You can make no difference until you are different”.

Ⓒ 2018, Sergey “The Gambit” Kiklevich, Gambit Solutions Inc.