“How you’ve been GRINCHED”. Part 3. Irritated.
Dear reader, this article is Part 3 in a series of 10 articles titled: “How you’ve been GRINCHED and you didn’t even know it”.
GRINCH – irritated by the happiness of others.
Let’s take a closer look at the third component of GRINCH (Irritated) personality.
I – Irritated [definition]: showing or feeling slight anger; annoyed.
Are you beginning to recognize some of these traits? Hopefully, because until you do, you’re largely in denial. Let’s ask ourselves a few questions again. Do you often snap at a driver that cut you off on the road? Do you honk at the car in front of you that is not moving right away to a green light? Does your wife’s hair in the shower, sink, bathroom floor and all over the house annoy you? Do you get upset by your boyfriend or husband not spending enough time with you? Do you get irritated by 1-800 numbers calling you even though you are on a “do not call list”? Do you avoid conversations until you had your cup of coffee in the morning? Do the dishes in the sink, misplaced shoes, socks, toys, clothes set you into emotional abyss? Bingo!
These are examples of irritation and I again invite you to think of your own and make this reading experience personal. Who knows what little or big things get you irritated!? I remember how my girlfriend’s hair bands that were laying around in many different places used to be enough to throw me off:))) I say that with a smile now, but I used to get irritated by that. So, you can come up with many more examples [I’m sure], you get the idea. Now what if instead of being irritated, you took proactive steps to properly communicate your dissatisfaction and its impact on your emotions? What if you stepped away and didn’t react to those things so negatively? What if you were able to become unbothered by the small and even bigger things? Who do you think would be the ultimate winner in such scenario? Hmm, still thinking? YES, the winner is YOU and people around you!
To give you an example, I used to have crazy road rage. I would get so pissed off and upset when someone would cut me off without turning on a blinker [a daily occurrence in Florida]. I’d call them names, flip them off, give them the angry stare [you know what I mean]…get so stressed out. And for what? Did it resolve anything? NO. Did it make me feel better? NO. Did the other driver learn anything from it? Again NO. Newton’s third law states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. So, what I realized was that after a while, I was almost looking for situations like this on the road, I wouldn’t want to avoid them and let someone in [sometimes even speeding up on purpose]. Why in the world would I do that? Well, as it turns out I was getting some sort of emotional payout by getting angry. I got to be right and enjoy a moment of domination. That instant moment of adrenaline rush, “heated blood” was something that my mind and body got used to and were [weirdly] constantly seeking.
How crazy is that??? I’m complaining about other drivers’ recklessness and lack of care, while actually looking for more of such behavior. The moment it hit me that that’s what was going on, I started catching myself from thereon every day. I started doing it less and less and in about a week or two I was calm as a cucumber on the road. I stopped reacting and seeking conflicts, and all of a sudden I could actually enjoy my traffic-packed commute. Nothing bothers me on the road anymore. I mean, occasionally, I get my moments but it’s nothing like it used to be. So, I’m no longer irritated behind the wheel. I choose to be calm instead. And what a wonderful way of being that is: actually realizing that I have a choice to be calm and had that choice all along. But when the autopilot of my life had the controls set in my well-established, polished, and rehearsed ways [by virtue of habit], I couldn’t see any choice.
The bonus is that calmness behind the wheel of my car has certainly spilled over into other areas of my life. I’m much calmer and more composed in virtually any stressful situation now. I shot 79 playing golf [for the first time in the 70’s!!!] a week ago because the bad shots no longer got the best of me and didn’t throw my emotional balance off. My relationships with family members and friends have gotten better. My ability to keep my mind clear, calm, and composed is allowing me to create a completely new future for myself. Therefore, I hope this gives you an idea of how powerful irritation can be and how captivating and gridlocking it can be on your mind and your overall wellbeing. Just go back to the Grinch example and remember how irritated he would get by seeing other people being happy. It’s absurd that we all in some way, shape or form still do that…
Ⓒ 2018, Sergey “The Gambit” Kiklevich, Gambit Solutions Inc.